color guard, running, drawing.
OBHS 2009-2013 Cadets2 2013 LSTTV. Jersey Surf 2014
Dickinson College 2017. BIG D!
This post is about the guard I’m spinning with. This post should have been written a long time ago, but I kind of brushed off the pain. But now it’s back, so here it is. It’s long; you’ve been warned.
So back at the end of May when we were still having weekend only camps, I and 4 others were taken out of the end of Part 2 of our show. I was like “are you fucking kidding me?!” The other people who were out are honestly not that good. Btw, I never say that I am the best spinner ever, but I was just so pissed. Ballads and stuff change all the time, so I waited until Spring Training. Well, that came around. Nothing changed. I talked to one of our main caption heads, and got emotional. I have never had a conversation about drill with an instructor, but this really bothered me. She said it was just the way the drill was written, and about my shoulders and body facings during fast work. She said to just keep working and maybe things will change.
So, I was pissed for a while. About the second to last day of spring training, the “back flags” were going over work, and people didn’t know some of it. I’m like “Are you fucking serious?! Get your effing shit together! We are in a WORLD CLASS DRUM CORPS!” (All in my head btw). then we get a water break. I sprinted to my water jug, then I ended up crying. One of the captains who was helping us since she was injured, asked why. I tried not to tell her. She kept asking. Then one the back flags, said the reason why: “I think it’s being back here.” My head: FUCK YOU! Shut up! You had no fucking right!” But I just said yeah. The captain was talking about years when half the flag line sat out at one point. Others said that they look to me when learning work. My learning speed has increased.
That day kind of helped. I was still mad, but whatever. It was out of my hands. Then, I realized that the dancers got off the field like 2 sets after us. That made me feel better.
BUT NOW: the dancers will spin flag now! And what am I doing: SITTING ON MY FUCKING ASS ON THE BACK FUCKING SIDELINE! WHILE THE REST OF THE GUARD IS OUT ON THE FIELD GETTING APPLAUSE AT THE END OF THE DAMN SHOW & WORKING THERE ASSES OFF AT REHEARSAL, I WILL BE ON MY ASS! I ABSOLUTELY FUCKING HATE SITTING AND BEING FUCKING LAZY AND SUCKING! IT DRIVES ME NUTS! I came to this corps to train for a better corps. But I am not in 1/4 of Part 2, and 2/3 of the fucking Ballad. I AM ON MY FUCKING ASS! This just angers me so fucking much! I was able to deal with this before, but now the feelings are resurfacing because of this new staging!
I was going to cry in a corner, but we had a fucking one hour sectional an hour after we performed! We were supposed to have an hour or so to ourselves afterwards, but we as a drum corps decided to leave earlier than originally said. So I may cry later. I don’t know. So basically: FUCK ME!